Herschel Walker simply instructed a bizarre parable a few bull who was with six cows, and three of them have been pregnant, and he noticed some extra cows on the opposite aspect of the fence so he hopped the fence and lower up his stomach.
I do not know both, man.
— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) October 11, 2022
Yeah, that is certainly the brief model. You would possibly regulate fellow Republicans Tom Cotton and The Ghost Of Rick Scott as Herschel weaves his little story of … one thing? Is Herschel speaking about what all of us suppose he’s speaking about?
Herschel Walker simply now: “I have been telling this little story about this bull out within the discipline with six cows, and three of them are pregnant… so you realize he is received one thing occurring” pic.twitter.com/C54cFotXJD
— Aaron Fritschner (@Fritschner) October 11, 2022
For this reason Republicans suck VERY VERY MUCH at writing kids’s books. Anytime a “family-values” abortion-paying-for secret-child-having repeatedly-held-gun-to-wife’s-head Republican Senate candidate begins occurring about livestock intercourse, issues are going to go downhill shortly. There are only a few marketing campaign methods which have, as bullet factors, “and now you’re going to exit and inform the gang a narrative about livestock intercourse.” NO.
However the ethical of this little story is … what? Herschel imagines himself because the bull, proper? And he received three girls pregnant that we all know of, and perhaps there’s three extra we do not learn about, however for Senate Republican candidates in Georgia the grass is at all times greener on the aspect of the fence with much more cows than that, so he is naturally going to undergo barbed wire to search for them, and hey I feel we’re going to cease excited about this proper the hell now, as a result of candy and bitter Jesus that is not the closing argument we wish to be listening to from any would-be Republican senator previous or current.
We don’t wish to hear about livestock intercourse from Tom Cotton, or from Mitch McConnell, or from anyone else. Not as a parable. Not as a free-form poem. Please cease speaking about cow intercourse.
Walker did cease, however not earlier than making all the things even weirder than that.
Clipped and tweeted this proper earlier than a gathering and I see it has blown up, simply wish to level out that the highlighted quote is clearly dangerous however for those who attempt to give him the good thing about the doubt to get the complete context and that means it seems to be “higher issues aren’t attainable”
— Aaron Fritschner (@Fritschner) October 11, 2022
See there, and also you have been starting to surprise if he actually was Senate materials.
Shifting on …
Okay, so first he was a bull, then a canine, now he is a bear? Is the bear having intercourse too, or is that not specified? And he is each canine and bear now, some kind of freaky dog-bear hybrid? Can anybody clarify the prepare of thought that will get us from there to “and that is why it’s best to vote for me to be in the US Senate, the place I can write new tax legal guidelines or no matter?”
This isn’t how a marketing campaign usually operates! This isn’t how parables function! That is perhaps how German people tales often go, however parables? Probably not! Usually there are not any candidates who climb up on stage to inform tales of sex-having mountain goats with a protracted historical past of head accidents, to provide one inappropriate instance out of many.
We’re used to Republican politicians saying that there are Too Many Bushes These Days, from Ronald Reagan to Donald Whatshisname to this man. We are able to get by way of that. We’re used to Republican candidates who disguise a historical past of simply blood-curdling ethical failures; hiding secret intercourse companions and the abortions you paid for is so commonplace it’d as nicely be written into the Republican Social gathering platform. You might be banned from native malls after turning into notorious because the city’s most persistent intercourse pest, and we’re even used to that.
Walker, although, appears intent on capturing the moon right here. He will fill out each sq. of the Republican Scandal Bingo playing cards in order that everybody wins a prize. He is operating towards a Democratic minister, no much less, and one who has not but turn out to be well-known for telling tales about sex-having animals.
Cease it! Sufficient! This has all been very humorous however for the love of God and biscuits, Walker marketing campaign employees, get this man assist as an alternative of simply going by way of the motions for a paycheck. Recommend he pursue alternate careers, perhaps one thing in accounting. No petting zoos. No kids’s books. What about pumpkin farming, a kind of guys that tries to develop the most important pumpkin for Halloween, perhaps he’d be fascinated by that? A few of them are even sufficiently big to show into boats; he might float round and fake to be within the Navy.
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Since Dobbs, girls have registered to vote in unprecedented numbers throughout the nation, and the primary individual to dig into these gorgeous developments was TargetSmart CEO Tom Bonier, who’s our visitor on this episode of The Downballot. Bonier explains how his agency gathers information on the citizens; why this surge is probably going a number one indicator displaying stepped-up enthusiasm amongst many teams of voters, together with girls, younger folks, and other people of shade; how we all know these new registrants disproportionately lean towards Democrats; and what all of it would possibly imply for November.